Scout's Honor

Dear Michael Chertoff,

(or any local Homeland Security Representative for that matter.)

My son (he's four) wants to be a rocket ship for Halloween. I've been Googleing "rocket ship costumes", "patterns for rocket ship costume" and whatever else I can think of, to find a way to make him one. I'm not having much luck.

I know, I know what's this to you? I'm getting to my point, I think I have one today. In my defense, I really didn't know what I was clicking on, I read the link right as my fingers were clicking. A homem@de shou!der-f*red rocket l@uncher is never going to be made in this house, of this I am certain. See, I'm purposely trying to keep anyone really looking for such a device far away from here.

Please do not send any of your task force to my humble (albeit clean) home, you will be wasting (precious) tax dollars! Your search will only reveal a frumpy house wife and two pretty well cared for children. Possibly one very startled husband depending on the time of day.

I know you understand that accidents do happen, quite frequently in fact! Seriously, I am ignorant enough that I have never even imagined making one of the a for mentioned devices from PVC pipe. The most creative thing I've ever done with that is pretending to be in Blue Man Group.

While I have my issues with government, I'd be more likely to peacefully protest and even more likely to write to my representatives.

Thank you for your time, any help turning my four year old into a rocket ship is of course at your own discretion.

Humbly,

Frumpy Butterfly Mama