Motherhood is a thankless job. We are told that. I played victim to it this morning, cleaning spilled (rice) milk, a squished banana segment and crumbs of shredded wheat. The milk, still seeping through the crack in the table leaf, the thought comes: who is thankless?
If I find myself complaining about cleaning after these pudgy, clumsy fingers, I cannot be thankful for them at the same time. If I find myself feeling pity-ful then can I at the same moment be filled with gratitude for this gift of the day, the life, the Light?
Obviously not, I have to learn to choose the thanksgiving for myself. The thanks for the sunny person, attached to fingers that find cups so slippery. The thanksgiving that I am healthy enough to be the one cleaning up and that the little fingers are healing and healthy enough to be making the messes in the fist place.
They do help with a fair share around here and are always grateful when I save legos from the roaring vacuum. I used to say, "their smiles are thanks enough." Of course they are! Now my thoughts lean my heart to say - my smile of gratefulness is what is enough.
Last weeks list...
106. Rain drops pitter, patter
107. Day dreaming eyes out the window
108. Watching raindrops hit puddles on pavement
109. Patterns of circles, polka dots, created by rain drop waves
110. Listening and boy dancing to the rhythmic pounding, drip, drip drop.
111. Little boy voice sing, song, "sneaky e makes a say it's name. Sneaky e is famous!"
112. duck, duck and goose
113. Running in circles, until dizziness overcomes
114. Dizzying haze tickle fight
115. Filling up our 'heart tanks' with hugs and snuggles
116. Oven baking, extra heat escaping, warming.
117. Whole wheat, ground goodness
118. Freezers, to hold my brown bananas until I'm ready
119. Banana muffins, crumbly and sweet
120. Fingers through soft, short hair at bedtime
121. Dishwasher thumping methodically downstairs
121. Band-aids to cover the evidence of hurt
122. Giggles, while peeling off the band-aid strips
123. Taking time to watch the ducks
124. Independent boy, making himself breakfast
125. Jello, sweet, peachy, goes down easy
126. The boys, healthy, dressed, holding down the fort
127. The girls, pale, snuggling under blankets
129. Applesauce, fruit from last years harvest
130. Robins chirping
131. Tulips faithfully pushing the hard earth away
132. Little girls big, purposeful skips
133. Feeling better
134. Warming wet, towel covered arms with firm, quick strokes
135. Brave little girl, watching stitches get snipped
136. One tiny lip quavering for only a moment
137. A smile and talking to the nurse about favorite princesses
138. A tea party to celebrate no more stitches 139. Camel's 'hump' park 140. walks with friends 141. climbing trees 142. first scraped knees and scratches telling spring is arriving 143. SPRING! 144.kids playing game after game of sequence on a Saturday afternoon 145. huckleberry pancakes 146. kids sharing memories of foraging for huckleberries last summer 147. Husband, who just knows how
4 weeks ago