Sunday, November 04, 2007

What makes a GOOD baby?

Why does our culture judge a good baby on sleep? Why are we so geared up to get a newborn independent after week one of life? They spent 9 months inside their mother and then we expect them to be sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. Hello! How does that really make any sense. I may be throwing you all for a loop but I'm an attachment parenting mama and proud of it!!

I don't believe that crying is good for a baby's lungs. I do believe it is a cue that the baby has a need that only it's primary caregivers can meet.

I don't believe that a baby needs a feeding or sleeping schedule. I do believe that babies should have their needs met when they need them, when they are hungry, tired or need the comfort of Mom or Dad.

I don't believe that my child needs to sleep in a lonely dark room down the hall. I do believe that we are very comfortable and safe sleeping together in a oneness where we both wake and sleep with a rhythm of togetherness.

I don't believe that my child should be put in a pack and play or play pen so they won't get into trouble. I do believe they are safer close to me and/or in a sling carrier.

If meeting my babies needs on cue means I'm spoiling her then gosh darn it I'm spoiling her every minute!!! I find it impossible to believe that my baby is manipulating me by wanting to nurse often, only that she is hungry, growing, or needing comfort. I believe manipulation is more of a learned behavior.

I by no means am judging you if your parenting choices differ from mine I also believe that each set of parents are THE best decision makers for their own family. Each parent must listen to their own intuition and do what is best for each individual within what is best for their entire family unit. Each family has different situations.

I could go on but this loving, happy and healthy baby is worth letting her nurse all day and night for a relatively short while. Before I know it she'll be three and telling me to take off my shoes when I come inside, spelling words and having way less time for cuddling her Mama!

10 comments:

Wendy said...

I did the same thing w/nursing and loved every minute of it.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Amen! What a wonderful post. I say, Right On! : )

Steph

Life With All Boys said...

I couldn't agree more. When I had my first 2 boys I didn't even know anything about attachment parenting. Didn't know it was an actual term. It just felt RIGHT having them in bed with me. To let them nurse anytime they wanted. I LOVED this post. You rock!!

Kathleen aka Coffee Mom said...

I so agree with you on this. Great post!

Grandma said...

Feeling (and acting)this way is one of the many, many reasons you are such a fantastic mother, AND you are rearing my grandchildren - what a coup for me! :-) (okay, and for them too :-)

Linds said...

Absolutely to everything. You are doing a wonderful job, Heidi, and that little one is just the sweetest little girl!

Ellen said...

I really enjoyed your post.. I must say that I hadn't heard of the term attachment parenting before, but it makes sense. I also agree with letting them tell you what they want instead of making a schedule for them. both of my kids have developed their own types of schedules for the most part and yes it changes a lot but I am flexible and laid back and so are they :) I like what you said too about other families having different situations meritting (sp?) different choices!

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I agree with everything you've said. I have friends, and even my own mother who tell me that I'm spoiling, or ruining my baby because I hold him all the time. I actually had a friend brag to me that she rarely holds her baby. WHAT?

Anonymous said...

When in the world will they ever learn independence? There is nothing wrong with a child playing on their own for a while. There is nothing wrong with a baby looking up an not seeing you there if you have to use the washroom or get a drink of water, whatever. It inspires independence, imagination, and confidence. I think mothers who feel they must hold there baby all the time and never allow them to cry are scared of NOT being needed and are creating very bad habits that will ultimately require even more crying and tears later to break. You can't carry a baby around in a sling forever.

Butterfly Mama said...

Dear anon...
No you certainly can't carry a baby around in a sling forever. Because they don't remain a baby forever. All baby wearing mama's that I've seen do put our baby's down to do things. Many things in fact, but we are led by our children's cues and when they need us we are there for them. Both of my carried children now are very well adjusted 5 and 2 year olds needing their parents at normal times.
I am not scared of not being needed but with my infant, I knew when I was needed and was happy to meet her needs so she could grow into the secure two year old she has become.

Thanks for stopping by...
Heidi