Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Opinion Saturday and other ramblings

The frustrating thing about a mouse is that you really never know where they are coming from since they can fit through anything. Ugh. Thanks for your suggestions. My hubby is so allergic to cats that he starts wheezing within minutes so I guess we'll see about some of the other options!

That's enough time devoted to that subject so on to another while my son naps!!!! Have I mentioned that he's back to napping about 5 days a week or so! So on to Mary's opinion Saturday topic.

She writes, "When you think about enlarging your family, what are some of the questions and concerns that come to your mind? Was it or is it a difficult or an easy decision to declare yourself ‘done’ with having children? If your family is already complete, feel free to share the questions you had as you faced the issue in the past. When you decided, did you decide once and for all, or did you find yourself revisiting the question over and over?"

Last night at dinner Adam and I were discussing this topic and he asked our son if he wanted a little brother or sister and our son answered "yes", then he asked if he wanted an older brother or sister he said "yes" again. His last question to our son was how many siblings do you want and our little turkey put down his fork and counted on his fingers "one, two, three, four, five" and then continued eating as Mom and Dad sat looking at him and each other.

Now before you think we are crazy don't worry we aren't leaving this up to our two year old son even if he is very smart. Since he knows how to count to 20 (with help around 15 or 16) he must have had some reason for stopping at five (even just to get back to eating!!)

When we got married and for many years before we thought we'd have two children and just hope for a boy and a girl and then we'd be done. Since my son's birth however we've both expressed interest in having more than 2. I think of the joy that my own sister and brother bring to my life and I wonder if 2 won't be the number we end up settling on.

The first topic that came up last night after the magic number 5 was financials. We are constantly wondering how many children we would financially be able to take care of. How many could we put through college? How many could we have and not have to mortgage our house to fly to visit a relative? (Most live in other states.)

Then and possibly more importantly I think of the days that having one child feels like more than enough. I begin to doubt my motherly skills and admit that I have no idea what I'm doing. The flip side of those days are the wonderful days of parenting when confidence abounds, we play happily and days are going smoothly.

I take comfort in the fact that God knows us and our hearts and only He can open our hearts to however many children will bless our lives.

Since we are not currently "done" I'm certain this topic will come up for us again and again after each new addition.


I have so many unread items in my bloglines it's not even funny! I'll be around to get caught up soon... I've missed reading about you!!!


Heaven Sent said...

Great topic. I think every mother of 1 often wonders how many more she could "handle." We've always wanted to try to have a girl and a boy, but agreed on a limit of 3. But now I'm thinking 2 would be fine even if we have 2 girls.

I doubt my skills on a daily basis and wonder if my worrying could handle 3, but like you said, only time and God will reveal the answer to that question. My mom-in-law was blessed with a surprise third child when her youngest (my husband) was 16, so you never know...

Wendy said...

Your son IS such a smartie!

I remember thinking how could I ever handle 2..and then how could I ever handle 3..I guess you just take it a day at a time and God gives the grace. The great thing is God gives us babies first (that sleep a lot) and not toddlers. I can't imagine how hard that would be to start off w/a busy, curious toddler.

On Fire For Him said...

I encourage you, to just take it one child at a time. That is how my husband I look at it. When my oldest was born, I knew we would have more but I knew it wouldn't be for awhile. Then we got pregnant when he was 2 -PTL- b'c had I known what 2 was going to be like with him, I may have opted to wait! Now, my second is 2 and CJ and I are ready for a third. If I had tried to plan it all out in the beginning I would have felt overwhelmed. Each time I am ready to get pregnant, it is because God has prepared our hearts and brings us to a place of being ready for another child in our home!

Robin said...

We always thought 2 would be good. I had my 2 boys and was very happy. Got rid of all my baby items, and God said...No, I think you need one more. Enter Carter to our clan. And I wouldn't have it any other way. And truthfully, wouldn't mind one more. My hubby thinks I'm nuts.

Amy said...

You will do great with another. Trust me. It is actually easier because they play together once they are at a certain age. The financial aspect is always a concern of ours', more so for my hubby. One thing I know is that we do not sacrifice like we could/should. There is so much we could cut out that would make things easier for us.
I would encourage you to keep on praying and God will bless you with His child when His timing is right. I know. Easier said than done! :)
Thanks for your great email. I'll respond soon! It was really encouraging! Amy

Jamie said...

It's a hard decision, because it is so life changing! And the sad part to me is that money sometimes dictates what we decide to do.

I am sure you guys will figure out what the perfect family is for you :)

owlhaven said...

Heidi, May I use your paragraph about finances in my book?