art imitates life imitates art

Thinking, exhausting, trusting.

life

existence

create

love

imagine

deconstruction

humanity

joy

pain

brokenness

fulfilling

love

simple moments

joy

Thinking, wondering, believing.

I've spent a lot of time inside my head today.  Truth be told, I'm not always happy with what I find there.  Today's result was a bit more joyful than most.  Still I was wrestling with the questions that rattle around in my brain.  Most of them I'm happy to say will stay as thoughts in my crazy ol' mind!

 Some of them were spent trying to come up with something I can do on a daily basis to make the world a better place.  To do something daily that makes a difference to someone broken, in pain, suffering.  What more can I do.  Can I make a difference? Yes.  I have no money to give.  Can I still help?  I start close.

I  do this daily, I give to their tiny, gaining independence yet still SO needy persons.  To them I joyfully give with all of myself so they know into the deepest corners of their souls that they are loved, they are worth it.  They are special blessings.  

We are all broken in some way.  We are all hurting somewhere within.  What can I do?  I can bring my husband a cold drink as he sweats away creating in the garage.  I know I can give more to him, without expecting anything in return.  A pleasant smile from across the room even, a wink and smirk.  So that he knows his love has affected me, embraced my every cell.

I look outward.  People. Everywhere. They all need love.  The homeless man in the park every morning by swimming lessons.  How many people drive by him every day and ignore him.  How many times have I.

Still deep in thought Nathan looks up and says, "Look at the Toy Story clouds."  I look.  They are perfect puffy ones.  So begins my does art imitate life or does life imitate art thought stream.  I remember a discussion in college.  I always took the side of art imitating life.  Art is created as a reflection of the artist's emotions and view of a particular situation.

It's not really an answerable argument though because why to we call a life moment 'picture perfect.' Do we really mean 'life perfect'?  Well, life isn't perfect so maybe it can only be as perfect as a picture of it. 

I decided that the whole debate was flawed.  Art is created by life.  The canvas, stage, paper, music notes, clay, all must be filled in by the artist.  Life.  Art is the ultimate creation and the life of the artist is shown through it.  Just a small piece of perspective, a small piece of them.  Life.

Visuals of life around here...

Mommy's little helper.

Now in her big girl toddler bed.

Daddy's big helper.

Reflection

Domino art: "Me and Tyler"

I see Nathan using art to help him through the loss of our dog.  He was in pain near the end and the 'art therapy' must be helping, healing his heart.  Learning about the permanent emptiness that death brings is hard but he's been a trooper. 

Full Relationships

I've recently been convicted about something. I've been terrible at sending birthday gifts, cards and general well wishes. I still haven't sent my Mom, Dad or sister their birthday cards or gifts from July and August.(I know, GASP!)

Part of it is that it's hard to pick out gifts(we have only one car), get to the post office (expensive to send) and how many other excuses - for people that live across the country. But they are not just people, they are MY people.

This video shows a school teacher, Mr. Stroup, who writes to all of the students he's ever taught on their birthdays. All 2,500 of them, every year! It is so sweet and encouraging.

I'm sure that my family would have appreciated even a hand written letter on lined paper. I know they appreciated that I called and emailed and facebooked them all to acknowledge their day. My family all tell me it's okay because I'm busy with my life and my kids. While it might be okay, my life is NOT about me and I'm not outwardly showing that to those closest to me. I desire for them to know that even though I'm busy, I took time out especially and just for them. Because YOU are that special to me!

John, chapter 4 tells of Jesus and the woman at the well. I never really got what others I knew so deeply loved about this passage. Living water, yes, that is very important. The thing that hit me this past week however was that Jesus spoke to a Samaritan woman. You might think, big deal. Yes, big deal! Not only was she a Samaritan, but a woman, and an outcast or at least not very well liked by the others. She had to come get her water in the heat of the day when no one else would be there. She had five husbands and was living with another man, she was a sinner, in a big way!

He was all about relationships and He always had time for others, even in his own weariness. No matter how noble or humble their lives were, He cared for them. He didn't miss an opportunity because He was too tired from His journey, He made no excuse or complaint. He loves every one of us and I believe he wants us to have a life full of the relationships of those around us. He wants us to care and love one another as He loves us.

I know that no matter how hard any of us tries we'll never be perfect at loving others like Jesus was in his life on earth nor as he loves us still. We are not capable of the perfect love of God, yet another reason we need His Son! Does this then mean that we shouldn't try, just because we won't be perfect. Of course not, the reward is the fulfilling lifelong relationships with those we love. Reaching out to them not to show perfection or out of obligation but desiring them enough to do something small to let them know just how big they are to our hearts.

Sunday

But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.

I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.

For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.

Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little."

2 Corinthians 8:7-9,12-16 (NIV)

The emphasis in the above verses is mine. I have been reading and rereading these words since August and I was thrilled back then when I found these verses. They were just like water to quench my thirst. My desire to give is great it is just the direction the generosity takes that shifts.

When I first stumbled upon them, these words spoke to me as to what I want to do with my life - other than Mommy - I feel there is another purpose for me that has not yet become. One where I can use my deep feelings of giving and compassion on a daily basis, perhaps starting up a not for profit, for now my focus is my young children and if I still have a blog in the future we all may see how this plays out.

Now that this Christmas season is upon us I've decided to use my desire to give to those who are truly needy. Basically, I'm giving things that I would want to get which this year are not necessarily tangibles. Yeah, I'd love a new dishwasher, some really nice gloves for gardening and maybe a couple fruit trees for the backyard. But really, truly I LOVE giving and feel awkward receiving.

My husband on several Christmases has lavished me with gifts and while I do adore that he does this for me, honestly it makes me feel weird sitting there opening up gifts. It's just one of those uncomfortable moments all eyes watching and then at the end of it all a feeling of emptiness that lasts through a massive Christmas feast that would feed an entire village elsewhere in the world.

He does know this about me now, he asked before our wedding if I wanted a $5,000 ring or to go on a honeymoon for 10 days to Jamaica - ah, yeah I'd wear a bottle cap on my finger every day to go back to the warm water scuba diving fruit loving beautiful Jamaican people. But I've gotten off point slightly.

This Christmas season, I'm choosing NOT to get stressed out about the stuff and hoping that my plenty can provide for anothers need. How do you keep yourself charged and at peace this season? Care to share, leave me a comment or link up if you post.

A theme for the upcoming holiday season...

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. -- Norman MacEwan

1/2

We've come 15 days on this 30 days of Nothing experiment and I'm drained. It could have to do with the fact that I'm in the kitchen all day lately. I'm making two more batches of jam tonight.

A friend in one of my pilates classes offered me to come pick raspberries and keep what we picked. As if I needed more work ;). But I couldn't say no to such sweet juicy goodness. Honestly, I had forgotten how much work it is to pick that many but now we've got a bunch to freeze and make yummy jam out of!

Mostly for my own inspiration I'm going to link to some of the many nonprofits I like and would love to have LOTS more money to give too.

Care has been on my sidebar for years now and I really dig what they do for women!

One that probably doesn't need mentioning here is Compassion International. Most of us I'm sure followed Shannon to Uganda last spring and will followMary to the Dominican Republic in a couple months!!

Mercy Corps is one that I found this year and I like really like their philosophy. One of their core values, "We are awed by human resilience, and believe in the ability of all people to thrive, not just exist."

This one I've always thought really cool Medicines Global. It's enough to make me want to take a backpacking trip to Nepal just to bring in needed medical supplies!

We've been eating just nothing great to post about...tonight we had taco's which are just about everyone's favorite.

Oh, and Scribbit is having a September write away contest. I can't wait to read all those entries! I'll need to learn to read faster though...so much to read and so little time!!! Off to my raspberries...